Day 164: laying it all out there

My anxiety is reaching maximum capacity.

When other people are angry, irritated, loud, I stay calm and quiet. While I’m good at it, it eventually takes it’s toll. It makes me tired and sad. I don’t bounce back quickly or easily. I understand people’s anger and/or frustration most of the time and it does no good to retaliate. So I stay calm.

My BIP was rejected by the state because my client was too high functioning. While understandable, it’s a set back. It’s another couple of weeks before forward movement. I was really hoping to get started working for the extra income for the new house, but now I’m anticipating starting after the wedding.

Husband has it set in his mind that the down payment money is going to magically appear after the wedding. Which, realistically, it won’t. Even if it did, we need the additional income to afford the house. It’s not like he is looking for anything different, so this work would be great.

My sister is coming up for labor day weekend which will be nice. However. She made a comment about she and her husband being “two broke folk from Tennessee.” I wanted to break my Mom’s phone. Please, do go on about how broke you are being a double income, no kid household with two dogs, a big house and a new RV…. while we are a family of 4 living with my mom in her basement with no yard and saving whatever pennies we have left over to try and save for a house. But, continue, please, about how “broke” you are.

Husband has been irritated about absolutely everything today. Girl Child hasn’t been the greatest and has been irritating every one today. It got to the point where everyone was getting super agitate, including GC. I ran a bubble bath, filled a big bowl full with her duckies and let her go to town.

As I was typing, Husband apologized for being a butt earlier. Then Doods threw a battery at him. *sigh* Now she is helping throw laundry down the chute. Lord, help us.

For my next act, trying to get dinner ready while Kevin is out grilling and GC tries to beat up BC. Good. Every day is an adventure. Ugh.

Thanks for stopping by.

I am glad you exist.

 

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