Day 93: the parent trap

Parenting is one of the most difficult adventures life has to offer. It is selfless, trying, and immensely rewarding. It’s a life of anxieties, tragedies, celebrations and defiance. Defiance of the odds and defiance of the norm. 

Maybe that’s just for special needs parents. I don’t have a typical to parent so I can’t say much to the contrary… Although I’m sure those statements ring true as well, maybe to a different degree or in a different capacity.

Kevin and I continually talk about moving. I want my family back together. However, the struggle is real when you have two children on the spectrum with almost completely opposite needs. As we look around, it is almost damn near impossible to find ONE district to service TWO kids. It makes providing opportunities for the kids much more difficult.

It’s hard to find an affordable location that benefits both kids. Right now, the separation works and is, academically, best for them. It kills me as a parent.

My kids don’t have a yard to play in. We have a driveway. A large driveway. And a vast number of inside OT/PT like play things. It kills me. The dog isnt able to run and dog around either. 

I worry about continuing to provide the opportunities for them to grow and be successful. The worst fear of i think every parent is failing their child. 

I almost feel like I’m at a loss sometimes with this situation. And I feel like I am being selfish by wanting my family unit together in a house of our own. 

I just would like to not live in a basement for once in my adult life and be able to, you know, have my own home with my family actually IN it. 

I’ve accomplished everything else I’ve set my mind to, so I don’t see why this should be any different. With everything else completed and out of the way, I dont have much stopping me. Other than time and ability. 

Oh well. In the meantime, I’ll keep hanging outside in my driveway with my girl child, some chalk and a balance beam cause that’s what we’ve got. 

Thanks for stopping by.

I am glad you exist.

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2 thoughts on “Day 93: the parent trap

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