Day 78: thank you for being a friend

When I was 14, my parents separated and, subsequently, got divorced. My Dad is extremely allergic to animal dander so the only pets we had growing up were fish. He would always say, “If I’m ever not in this house, you can get whatever pet you want.” When that time came, he got me a kitten… who was almost immediately taken over by my Mom. Turbo, as he was originally called, became Berlioz (after the Aristocats) and from that moment on – he became my Mom’s companion.

He became a companion to everyone else in the house as time came and the family grew. He was always protective of me and became a companion to my son as well. He always seemed to know when someone was sad and needed some comfort because he would come in to your proximity and maybe, just maybe, he would let you hold him while you cried.

As he got older, he began having issues with his thyroid. It was manageable with medications for quite some bit of time until recently… he had a very sharp decline. It became apparent: his liver was shutting down. He wasn’t the fun, active, playful, dick of a cat any more. He was a bony, sallow, sad feline who was starting to tell us – I think I’m ready to go.

This morning, we helped Ber go to sleep so that he could be at peace. No more hurt, no more pain – just peaceful sleep.

It’s sad. He was alive for just under 18 and a half years, which is like an eternity in cat years. He lived as long as almost an adult human. That’s a long freaking time. He survived me in high school, college, two kids, a cat, a husband, a few boyfriends, an almost husband, another cat, and a dog. God bless that cat. You could see it on his face every time a new entity joined the household. He would look at me like, “Really, bitch?” Yes, cat, really. While the displeasure would be on his face, he would adjust and be just fine and begrudgingly enjoying every moment, I’m sure.

When he was a kitten, he used to climb up my leg and back and perch on my shoulder as I would walk around the house. As an adult, he would go RIGHT where you were going – you couldn’t miss him. He would also knock things over on purpose. He was totally that cat: “Oh, you don’t want me drinking out of your water cup? That’s nice” Then tip it over so NO ONE has water to drink and run away.

Like I said – he was kind of a dick. But he was funny that way and I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

I still haven’t cried and that’s because I haven’t really had time to process it yet… even though I watched him go to forever sleep.

He didn’t have any fear in his eyes. You could tell he knew. He still hated the vet and the vet tech and made sure they damn well knew his feelings before he went. But there was no fear. You could tell he was ready.

I know I’m going to miss him.

It sounds so trite but he really was a good cat. We will be very fortunate to have half as good of a cat in the future. He is truly irreplaceable.

Berlioz

Rest well, my furry friend.

Of course, as is the case with everything in my life, as soon as he gets put down I receive a phone call from my daughter’s school that she’s sick and needs to get picked up right away. Life goes on.

From there, I had to go to work. Life goes on.

I came home, grabbed an adult beverage and sat outside with a very active puppy. Came inside, ate dinner, and decided I needed to write and catch up on my blog. Life goes on.

Nothing else that has transpired over the past few days really seems of any importance right now. I know I’ll have things to catch everyone up on soon. My heart just isn’t in it at the moment, which I’m sure is understandable.

I’m going to let myself be sad for tonight. Tomorrow is a new day. I have my 30 day review in the morning and a full day of work after that, followed by more shenanigans over the weekend.

I hope you all are doing well. Give some extra love to your furry friends tonight.

Thanks for stopping by.

I am glad you exist.

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