Well, I did it. I officially started a blog. After years of people suggesting I do so to chronicle the adventures of my crazy life, I finally did it.
So why does that say day 22? Wouldn’t this actually be Day 1? An excellent question, indeed. I shall do my best to keep my answer like my son’s underpants – brief and kinda clean.
For any newcomers, it’s essential to know that I have two young-ish children on the Autism spectrum. Since their diagnoses, I have dedicated most of my time and energy to learning as much as humanly possible in order to help them as best I can. Fast forward eight years, a master’s degree, an advocacy training, and a behavior analysis program later – Here we are.
I thought working in the field I knew so much about was a brilliant beyond brilliant idea, so I did and have been and technically still do… One complete and utter mental breakdown later.
Twenty-two days ago I woke up and said to myself: I can’t do this any more. I need help.
It’s a terrifying moment – that crystal clear OH SHIT, THIS IS BAD moment. Every day since, I have been grateful that going to get help was my choice.
The fight or flight instincts were kicked in to overdrive while I sat in the clinic waiting to get the help I needed and deserved. I held it together while I checked in. While in the waiting room. While the nurse took my vitals. While waiting in the patient room. When my doctor said, “So, tell me what’s going on” I finally broke down and ugly cried for a solid twenty minutes. She was so calm and comforting, I knew I made the right decision.
Initially, I wrote long To-Do lists for myself to keep myself on a schedule and give myself a sense of accomplishment. I still keep To-Do lists, although they are a little shorter these days. I have been trying to draw a little bit each day, as challenged by my friends. I try to do some form of exercise and/or get out of the house at least once a day. I also try to write a post a day about my progress, what’s happening, and how things are going…. which brings us to today. My new thing for today is pushing myself to share my experiences with all of you in the blogosphere in hopes that my journey and experiences will help someone else.
Most days, I feel somewhat functional. That’s okay. Being somewhat functional means that there is still at least a little bit of having a special activity, purpose, or task. I feel I am here for a reason. So are you.
Thanks for stopping by.
I am glad you exist.