Day 16: binging

Guilty pleasure TV shows that I’ve gotten to watch since I have been home: Cheaters, Judge Mathis, Dog the Bounty Hunter and Snapped. Say what you want, there is something about these shows that is appealing me. I guess I love watching other people’s drama since I try like the dickens (and successfully do) to avoid it in my own life.

I have been doing a lot of studying today and feeling pretty good about it. Last night I told one of my classmates about my meltdown and his response was, “Good for you.” Not in a sarcastic way or anything. I have kept my class fairly informed as to the crazy shenanigans of my work. They know and understand the amount of stress I have been going through for months on end. It felt… kind of relieving to tell someone what happened. Freeing, almost.

It’s different to verbally tell someone what you are going through versus typing. I mean, I told my doctor, I told my mom and Kevin, I told my supervisor… but they are people that have been fairly intimate with the whole situation as it progressed to its current state. it was nice to break that ice live and in-person.

Typing these posts every day has had their own therapeutic consequences. It’s really nice to share my thoughts and feelings very candidly. I am not hiding. This is just me and what I’m going through. It’s also been really nice to have everyone’s support, feedback, and input. It’s been so great to be reminded: I am not alone. YOU are not alone. We are all in this mess together and we weren’t created to be alone. We can’t do this without each other.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it a million times: I am glad you exist. I am grateful for all of you, no matter how much or how little we interact. We are meant to be here and I’m so glad you are. Thank you for being a part of my journey.


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