I have noticed a lot more silence since I had the meltdown. I have had less to talk about, less to contribute to conversation, just less to say in general. It has really pronounced how consumed I was by work. I didn’t do anything but work… well, and school. Even still, that doesn’t leave much for me to talk about and share.
Last night I had dreams that included some of the consumers from work. This morning my brain started to think about work and the anxiety started to come in. Being in the business of people is a very stressful and tough one, especially when you care and want to make positive change with very little support behind you.
My brain and body were hindered by the amount and energy necessary to successfully perform that position. That’s not really a way to live. I need to get back to being me. Being fun, friendly, creative, energetic, knowledgeable….me, you know? It’ll take time.
Kevin got me some really great anniversary presents: intelligentsia coffee and a new knife. I used the knife for the first time yesterday and promptly sliced a chunk out of my thumb. Good to know that knife doesn’t fuck around. It did help me make some tasty chicken tacos though. And I made a pineapple crisp that turned out pretty tasty too.
on to the day.