No matter how I’m feeling and no matter how much I want to be a hermit, there are other people who i love, care about, and need or want me present in their lives. This is OK. We all have a right to be selfish – both of our own and other people’s time and attention. It’s finding the balance that’s the tricky part.
This morning, Kaylee needed my time and attention (whether she actually wanted it, I don’t think I’ll ever truly know). I got up, drove, sat in high anxiety while we watched Kaylee swim her race and take first place. I am so incredibly proud of her, especially after her first met that ended in disqualification. Her coach didn’t think she would do it, BUT, like her Mama – she is out to prove people wrong and beat the odds. She is truly an amazing little girl.
Tonight is Kevin’s birthday party, which means extended intense peopling. Although i may not exactly be ready for that and it’ll be a challenge, that’s OK. It’s about Kevin tonight. And he has been tremendously supportive, patient and understanding regarding this whole situation and process. I couldn’t have asked for more than a person who, at their own party, says to another person, “isn’t she just the most wonderful? She’s just wonderful.” He’s the greatest.
Finding the balance one step at a time.