Where to even begin?
I suppose I can start with “I smell burning.” For whatever reason, Doods just decided to microwave her goldfish & cheese for ENTIRELY too long. Ah, teachable moments in life.
Anyway. As time has gone on and my posts have dwindled, it’s been made very clear how necessary these entries are for me. I’ve been working upwards of 50 hours a week between both jobs and it’s left me little time for everything else. While I don’t mind being off-line, having these entries as an outlet for, well, everything, has been taking it’s toll – emotionally/psychologically.
I’ve always said: don’t do things you can’t tell others about. I’ve also said: don’t say anything you wouldn’t want others to hear. It’s a fine line for living, but it definitely keeps your integrity in check.
There’s a lot going on and I’ve been doing an OK job at handling everything. The transition of having one less person in the house has gone smoother than anticipated. My Mom graciously took Boy Child to school in the mornings on certain days, which was nice to have one less responsibility to check off on my list. I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to schedule the timing quite right BUT it’s worked out well thus far.
Since my Mom moved, we haven’t had cable TV and it has been AWESOME. We’re reliant on the internet and, man, it’s great. Boy Child has been forced to engage in other activities for his free time and he’s been much more… amenable to forced family fun time (although Mario Monopoly might have something to do with it). There’s less noise in the house, too. It’s been quieter and calmer. I’m really excited to have a yard for times like this – just go, sit outside, read a book, sit under the gazebo, jump on a trampoline, go on a slip-n-slide, do ANY outdoor activity – man, that will be great. Right now we’re super limited by our concrete yard, so it’ll be nice to have more options for activities.
So speaking of yard and new house, steps have been taken to officially start the process. I talk with the bank Monday and should have Pre-Approval at that point as well as a more solid timeline on all of that. We have to move all of Mom’s stuff after the fourth of July, officially buy the house the following week and have to be out of this house by, essentially, August 1st. Sup, anxiety? I’m hoping I don’t go in to crippled anxiety mode in July because of everything and I’m thinking I need to set up my support group, like, yesterday for all of this. We have to set up an estate sale for the house as well and I just… don’t really know how the timing is going to work out for everything.
I’m going to need help. I’m going to need help packing and moving, organizing this whole estate sale thing, and getting work done to the new house (toilet, flooring, painting, and fence). We are going to need furniture, too. Of course, I already have lists and spreadsheets for everything but it’s getting it all done in the janky time table we have that makes it extra exciting. Throw in the mix that we may have to share space in the new house with someone for a little while and it’s EXTRA extra exciting. Again: hoping I don’t go in to crisis mode in July.
I’ve told the clinic what’s going on and I’m hoping to maintain sanity, but who knows? I’ve been talking with them about going full time as well. I really like the clinic, a lot. I like working from home and having flexibility, too. BUT, there’s definitely something to having a set schedule and a place to “leave” your work. They’re very accommodating and flexible and I really enjoy being around the littles again. It’s just different. I like working with adults as well. I just like working with anyone who needs help, really ; 3 It’s all about trying to find the right work-life balance and I *think* I’m teetering on the edge of figuring out what that looks like for me. It’s only taken a few decades.
Since I’ve been working so much and have all of this life stuff, I’m behind on my personal research project. Kinda bummed about that. Yes, everyone, my fun free time activity is doing research. Aren’t I the most exciting person?! But, in all fairness, that’s where my husband comes in – he “forces” me to do other things that regular people do…Like sleep, eat, or go to a wrestling show. It all works out.
Overall, things are moving in a positive direction. Of course there have been days where I’ve been completely stopped in my tracks by my brain going “Nah, I don’t think so, not today.” But you do your self-care (this time it was binging on “Grand Designs”) and keep on with life.
Last night, I passed out at like 715 in my clothes with my contacts in and was woken up 12 hours later by my husband. Guess I needed that sleep. Apparently boy child came in, gave me a kiss on my forehead, and said goodnight. He’s a great kid. A little tangential, slightly weird, but a great kid – I wouldn’t change him for the world.
Well, I need to get it together a little and go to the grocery store.
Thanks for stopping by.
I am glad you exist.