Yesterday was an adventure to the apple orchard. Oof. Here was my facebook post regarding it:
So here’s the thing: we can’t just go anywhere and do something. Ever.
No matter what we plan to do or how far in advance, the following is almost guaranteed to happen:
The outing will be met with varying levels of opposition by boy child. We will go. Girl child will elope, drop, or both at one or more times throughout the outing. Boy child and bonus dad will get in to and get progressively louder, because volume means power to them and neither of them know when to stop. I eventually lose my patience with everyone and get upset. Then we come home and my mom who is watching tv as per usual tells me that i need to curb my attitude although she has no clue what has just transpired.
It would be nice to just go some where and do some thing without any kind of fuss or drama. My family is going to make me seize out, swear to God. My body can’t handle the stress. We have learned that from the past. No thanks.
By the time we had gotten to the orchard, the damage had been done. The migraine was beginning and almost in full swing as we rode on the tractor. When we got home, I was really close to being wiped out. It reminded me of the period of time when I was having a lot of seizures. When all that was happening, the doctor’s had said that high levels of stress can cause seizures. I said yeah, ok, whatever, I’m not stressed out… lies. Total lies. I was in a traumatic relationship, student teaching, working, finishing grad school, and single parenting two kids on the spectrum… I’d say that’s a little bit of stress.
I think my brain now quickly recognizes the stress chemicals and forces me to stop what I’m doing before bad things happen. The rest of the day, I couldn’t process. Kevin and I tried playing Egyptian Rat Screw and he was like… You’re not really keeping up are you? I said no, I can’t process this right now. So we changed games.
After dinner, Kevin, BC and I played Golden Girls Clue – which I won! I haven’t won a game of Clue in a while. Miles ate the cheesecake in the Bathroom, dun dun dun… Super fun.
Last night, I don’t remember why but I got to thinking about ministry. When I had first gone to college, my intention was to become a Director of Christian Education (DCE) and do youth ministry. As I got in to the program, I decided that I was far too liberal and not set enough in my faith to spend my life convincing people of theirs… At least in a church setting.
I have a very dear friend who is working on his degree in ministry. He and I share a similar view: you can reach more people out in the world than if you stay in your church bubble. Be *IN* the world, not *OF* the world. Live a life of servanthood… and this can look different for everyone. Servanthood doesn’t mean you have to volunteer in a soup kitchen once a week. Servanthood doesn’t mean a life a churchworker. Servanthood doesn’t mean trying to be the next Mother Teresa.
Being a servant is living a life that shows grace, mercy, and love to others.
Sometimes that means just showing kindness or compassion in the moment. Paying for someone’s coffee, opening a door, calming someone in a moment of heat, ensuring someone’s safety and security, nursing someone while they’re sick, cleaning a house, being understanding, joining someone in silence just to be by their side, being patient, it goes on and on and on.
I enjoy being at the bakery because I feel I have been able to reach a lot of people with patience and kindness. I often get, “Thank you for being so patient with me, you were very kind” or “Thank you, you very helpful.” It makes me sad sometimes, because that says me to me that others are not always patient or kind with them.
Why aren’t we kind to others? Is it really that difficult to be nice to others? Or patient?
I guess our world and society is getting increasingly faster and separated. People don’t know how to interact face to face. They need the technology interface. they want an immediate response… If they don’t get an answer RIGHT away or it’s not what they want to hear, they DEMAND an explanation and/or try to haggle you down… We have an outbound response at work for emails – 24-48 hours for response. People will call within 3 hours “Why didn’t I get a response yet???”
Patience. People need to learn patience. I will take care of you and your needs, just be patient.
And be a god damned parent, too. Honestly, people. Parent your god damned kids. Kids are so freaking spoiled these days it’s disgusting. Kids are ignored. I see it almost every day. Parents who let their kids run around the store and behind the counter, crawling all over tables and chairs. These kids clearly haven’t been told no or experienced any kind of consistent discipline.
Now, I’m a pretty understanding parent. I have obnoxious children. HOWEVER, if Doods starts to run around? There are times when she simply does not do what I am asking her to do, so I say Sorry, we have to go, I’ll finish this another time – rather than torture everyone present. It’s also a safety issue.
I could go on and on but I won’t. When those instances happen, again, servanthood ministry – patience, love, kindness, grace and mercy. Whatever you do, do in love. That’s the mission right? My goal is to spread love to whomever I come across however I can. If that’s being patient with you, cool. If that’s giving you a little sticky note to say, “You’re awesome”, that’s cool too. If it’s listening to your needs and figuring out a good plan, that’s also awesome. If it’s leaving you alone to let you have space, I got you too. Maybe a glass of water or a cookie. Maybe a hug. I got you. I’ve had people yelling in my face, getting irate, and that’s okay – I’ll love you too and you’ll calm the fuck down.
I’m pretty good at loving people. It’s work sometimes, but it’s worth it. Everyone deserves to be shown patience, love, kindness, grace and mercy. Try it today. It’ll probably feel a little weird if you’re not used to it. But just go and be nice. Just think about how can I help this person be a little happier today? How can I make their life a little easier? Pick up a piece of trash that you see – otherwise someone else will or it’ll become street litter which effects animals. Let someone else go first if they seem like they’re in a rush or have a screaming child. Tell someone a stupid joke. Anything. Just be that little ray of sunshine today. If we all bring a little ray of sunshine, together we will light up the sky.
Thanks for stopping by.
I am glad you exist.