I’m not sure where to begin this morning. I suppose I’ll start with the good news: I passed my exam! I’m officially a BCBA!
It’s still sinking in that I passed and I’m board certified now. That’s crazy – board certified. I passed one of the toughest exams out there… And not on the first try… or even the second try. It took three times to pass.
This exam has been a true test of patience, resilience, and work. I feel like I still have so much to learn. I have really enjoyed collaborating with other professionals since I started working as a BA. I feel like I have been acquiring more knowledge through my work than my schooling.
This whole experience has been a really great example to my son (I think and I hope). He has been following this whole journey. Each time before I took the exam he would wish me luck. He would ask Mommy are you going to pass this time? I hope you pass this time. I would always say that’s the plan, bud. I kept telling him that even though I hadn’t passed yet, I wasn’t going to give up. This is a goal that I have and I will pass the test, no matter how many times it takes.
I was convinced I failed. I walked out of the exam feeling like I failed. I told myself not to think about it until the results came out. I wasn’t sure how I was going to rally up for a fourth try and I’m awfully glad I didn’t have to cross that bridge. Yesterday morning I saw people posting about their results. I didn’t keep my window open because it was causing me anxiety. I told my husband that I’m pretty sure I failed, I just need notification so I can move on with my life and figure out a new plan.
I was just about to close down my computer and I decided to check the gateway once more. I was able to log in and saw the word “passed.” I gasped so loud, Pepper ran over to me and was like “HUMAN, YOUR FACE DID A WEIRD THING. LET ME LICK IT TO MAKE SURE IT WORKS.” Then I began to sob hysterically. I called my husband immediately. He didn’t answer, so I started sending an obnoxious series of texts which consisted mostly of HUSBAND. HUSBAND. HUSBAND. HUSBAND PHONE. PICK UP THE PHONE. HUSBAND. Of course each word was sent individually for emphasis amidst calling numerous times. When he finally answered, I cried out between sobs “I passed!” He said, “Way to go, idiot! I told you you would pass, ya dummy.” I laughed and cried and all I could say was “I passed.” He of course kept laughing at me (in a good way, mind you) and saying congratulations. Then he said “Now you can build your boat!” I was like, OH YEAH! I CAN BUILD MY BOAT!! When he got home he said “Congratulations, board certified smart wife.” ; 3
About the boat: so we know I love Legos, yes? This is no secret. One of the most recent Lego Ideas was a ship in a bottle. I thought it was TREMENDOUSLY cool. Both Kevin & Cayden said, “Well, you need to get that for when you pass your exam and have a fancy office. Every fancy professional has a ship in a bottle.” So, although we didn’t quite have the dollars for it, husband and I agreed – this is totally a necessary frivolous expense. The caveat, though, was that I couldn’t build it until I passed the exam.
The package arrived, I opened it and just sighed. It’s been sitting out, staring at me, almost mockingly, for over a month. BUILD ME, it was saying. PASS AND YOU CAN BUILD ME. Kevin and I would be playing games and I would just sit and stare at the box, “Some day,” I would think, “I will build you and you will be MY fancy ship in a bottle.”
I started building last night ; 3 However, I still was not feeling aces, so I stopped building to take a shower and go lay in bed. My stomach situation is improving, minimally. I finally broke down and took medicine for it. I really need to stop being so stubborn about medicine. It’s there for a reason. It’s helpful.
Man, board certified. Crazy.
So, of course, people knowing I am how I am asked, “What’s next?” My plan, now, is to wait for my certificate to arrive. Once my certificate arrives, I can level up at work. I’m going to start contacting people to try and get involved in research opportunities. I’m also going to look more in to the sign language program. I may hold off on that one… Lies. I’ll research it and probably start in the fall.
You know how yesterday I talked about Doods and her drawings? Yesterday she started to color her entire whiteboard blue. We looked at it and went… what the hell is she doing? Maybe she is drawing water? an ocean? There was nothing else on the board except for blue. This morning I walked past the board and went OH MY GOD, I GET IT. I KNOW WHAT SHE’S DOING. She was drawing a negative screen. She watches these like… demonic sounding videos where the video is reverse/negative image. THAT is what she was drawing. Let me show you…
Isn’t that crazy? She’s never done that before and honestly, it’s kind of brilliant. She is such an interesting child.
Anyway. So that’s the scoop for now – Board Certified. Insides are still messed up. Children are amazing weirdos.
Thanks for stopping by.
I am glad you exist.